Dispatches from the Culture Wars found a selection of new definitions “for those who appreciate bumper sticker politics”:
Cheney, Dick (n.) The greater of two evils.
Class warfare (n.) Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
Clear Skies Act (n.) Reduction of the bird population.
Creation science (n.) Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush’s resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
Extrodinary rendition (n.) Outsourcing torture.
Fact (n.) Liberal spin.
Healthy forests (n.) No tree left behind.
Honesty (n.) Lies told in simple, declarative sentences (e. g. “Freedom is on the march.”)
Patriot Act, The (n.) 1. Pre-emptive strike on American liberties to prevent them the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us.
Pro-life (adj.) 1. Valuing life up until birth. 2. Valuing human life after being born, only if diagnosed to be in a persistent vegitative state. (See: Punitive pregnancy).
Punitive pregnancy (n.) 1. Fitting puhishment for fornication targeting the feminine gender 2. A chip off the old pillory block.
Voter fraud, (n.) A significant minority turnout.
Woman (n.) 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can’t be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child. 2. Person who must have all decisions, regarding her reproductive functions made by men.
I hope the many typos are intentional. If so, heh-heh. If not, how embarrassing.
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