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Neo Orleans

They turned on the power last week in parts of New Orleans. They used it to light Jackson Square with a garish light, as a backdrop for a televised speech by George W. Bush. Many observers thought it looked like something from Disneyland.

Bush promised to “do what it takes” to rebuild the areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina:

Throughout the area hit by the hurricane, we will do what it takes. We will stay as long as it takes to help citizens rebuild their communities and their lives. And all who question the future of the Crescent City need to know: There is no way to imagine America without New Orleans, and this great city will rise again.

The next day, he ruled out taxes to pay for the reconstruction.

The New Orleans of the future, he promised, would be better than the city that was destroyed:

When communities are rebuilt, they must be even better and stronger than before the storm.

Better how? Well, one vision of Neo Orleans calls for “fewer poor people.” And maybe we could replace all those jazz musicians with animatronic musical bears from Disneyland.

A couple hours after Bush finished his speech, electrical power to the city was shut off again. That’s show biz.

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Supply-Side Economics Explained

Some stuff is so complicated that only comedians truly understand it. On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart discussed the financing of the Bush recovery plan for Hurricane Katrina with “Daily Show Chief Fiscal Policy Analyst” Rob Corddry:

Corddry: Everything the president is doing is perfectly in keeping with the conservative ideal of limited government.

Stewart: How is what the president is doing limited government?

Corddry: This president believes government should be limited not in size, Jon, but in effectiveness. Now in terms of effectiveness, this is the most limited administration we’ve ever had.

Stewart: Rob, let’s stay with the financial part of this. How is his record spending conservative?

Corddry: Because it’s paid for through supply-side economics. It’s a faith-based accounting approach.

Stewart: Supply-side economics? How does that even apply to this?

Corddry: Wow — sounds like someone’s unfamiliar with the work of Milton Friedman and the Chicago School.

Simply put, Jon, supply-side economics is when a president cuts taxes. This makes people happy, and him popular. The tax cuts deprive the government of money, and after eight years the deficit balloons to astronomical size.

Then, with the economy in tatters, a Democrat is elected. He has to cut the deficit by raising taxes, making people unhappy, and him unpopular, perfectly setting up the next election, where a Republican uses the Democrats’ tax hike against them to win back the White House and start the cycle all over again.

Four men won Nobel Prizes for that, Jon.

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Pure Evil, Part 2

Bill Maher on evil:

Exorcism … is a popular theme nowadays because it reinforces the comforting notion that evil resides outside of us. Well, I’m sorry, but it doesn’t.

Is George Bush purely evil? Of course not. And that’s what’s so evil about him. He doesn’t twirl a mustache and smirk and cackle — well, he doesn’t twirl a mustache. He’s like the Peanuts character Pigpen. Wherever he goes, he stirs up such a humongous mess it can only be cleaned up by Halliburton.

But he’s not pure evil, because evil is a chain.

Did any one person doom New Orleans? No. It’s a chain. People vote for a corrupt leader. A corrupt leader puts unqualified cronies in high places, and when those cronies f*** up, evil gets done. The devil didn’t fly up from Hell and knock a hole in that levee. The levee just didn’t get built, because the money for it went to rich people’s tax cuts, and pork projects, and corporate welfare.

This week an ailing American bald eagle was found to be dying from mercury poisoning. (Republicans immediately tried to blame it on the eagle’s lifestyle choices.) But it’s worth noting that, also this week, the White House threatened to veto limits on mercury pollution.

Now, pure evil would be if George Bush sat around the White House saying, “Let’s poison eagles,” and even I don’t believe George Bush would do that. Cheney would do that. And even he is not pure evil. Dick Cheney doesn’t hate poor children and caribou. They’re just in the way.

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Pure Evil, Part 1

I just watched a remarkable movie called Downfall. It’s about the final days of Adolf Hitler and his Nazi regime.

One thing that makes it remarkable is that it was made by German filmmakers. While Alec Guinness and Anthony Hopkins portrayed Hitler in his bunker decades ago, many Germans preferred to treat the whole Nazi era as nothing more than a bad dream. Even now, Downfall is controversial in Germany. Critics complain that the film shows Hitler and his close companions as human beings.

The filmmakers say that’s just the point: the Nazis did not have horns or tails or cloven hooves. They were human beings just like us, and that’s the scary thing.

Downfall shows that Hitler thought himself infallible. He ignored advice from his generals. He ignored facts that didn’t fit his fanciful view of the situation. When his ill-considered orders didn’t work, he accused his officers of disloyalty rather than endure criticism of his plans. He fired, and sometimes executed, those who dared to stand their ground when he was wrong. As the Russians closed in on Berlin, he declared that they were falling into his trap, and would be destroyed by a massive pincer movement — by two German army groups that had already been wiped out.

A handful of those around him shared his delusions. More understood the true situation, but did nothing and said nothing. They were Hitler’s men, and they would drag the whole country down with them before they would contradict their leader.

Human nature doesn’t change. We must struggle today against the same dark tendencies within us that the Nazis allowed to govern their lives. We must not place our trust in deluded leaders, nor in those who turn their backs on truth and sign on to their leader’s happy delusions.

Airy Persiflage
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Well Runs Dry

In the past, I have often quoted New York Times columnists and linked to their columns online. Effective today, the Times website has moved most of its columnists to a new pay-only area called “TimesSelect.”

Because I have the newspaper delivered at home, I have access to TimesSelect content online. However, links to that content won’t work for anyone who doesn’t have TimesSelect access. This poses a dilemma.

When I link to Times columnists, I usually try to quote enough material to make the point, but the columnist’s ideas are always more fully developed in the full piece than in any extract. A link also allows readers to verify that I’m not putting words into someone’s mouth by checking the source. The new Times policy cripples those links.

For the time being, however, I will continue to quote Times columnists and link to their online columns. Paid members of TimesSelect will be able to check my source and read the full columns. Other readers, I hope, will not be too greatly inconvenienced.

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Secret World of Justice John

Cartoonist Ruben Bolling uncovers the secret origin of Judge John Roberts. (Click to get a “site pass.” After you see an advertisement, you’ll have full access to the site for one day.)

Cartoonist Ward Sutton looks behind the smile.

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He Said, She Said. We’re Clueless

Al Franken talking with Chris Mooney, author of The Republican War on Science:

Franken: This is Bobby Kennedy Jr.’s phrase: biostitutes. And these are guys who are scientists who are for hire…. And they will go in, and for enough money, declare that global warming is just, “It’s an open question as to whether it’s happening.” … And they’ll turn out a good two or three page report. And people in the media will get it, and then they’ll get the peer-reviewed study which is 1200 pages long. And they’ll go like … “I guess there’s an open question as to whether global warming’s really happening.”

Mooney: The press is definitely part of the problem on some of these issues.

Franken: Would you say laziness?

Mooney: Yeah, or just — it’s part of the institutional culture, as well: the “he said, she said, we’re clueless.” On the coverage, I mean. That’s what I call it.

Franken: Wait — he said, she said, we’re clueless?

Mooney: Yeah. “We’re” being the journalists. So they just — they refuse to evaluate the quality of the information. And on some issues, there might be a real scientific debate, right? Depends on the issue. Global warming, no debate. It’s quite clear. Evolution, no debate. It’s quite clear what the scientific point of view is, and there’s people who want to create a controversy for political reasons.

Airy Persiflage
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Breaking News

George W. Bush has apparently been kidnapped and replaced by a look-alike:

President Bush on Tuesday said he takes responsibility for the federal government’s failures in responding to Hurricane Katrina.

The kidnappers didn’t do their homework. Nobody’s going to believe their crude substitute is the real George W. Bush.

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The Blame Game

Okay, so Brownie is out. Resigned.

Under his management, FEMA rejected both pleas for help and offers of help. Even-handed. President Bush gave him a friendly slap on the back and said he was doing a “heckuva job.”

Well, the liberals got all worked up about the people left to die in New Orleans (a city with a strong French influence, by the way, which should tell you something about liberal loyalties).

They couldn’t attack President Bush. He had given up a couple vacation days. He had flown over the city in his big jet plane and looked out the window. He certainly could not be faulted. So the liberals focused on Brownie. Typical.

Brownie had come to FEMA with no previous emergency management experience, they said. His law degree was from an unaccredited law school. His résumé (French word) was full of distortions and outright lies, Time magazine reported. Liberals hinted that the Bush Administration had never bothered to check, ignoring the possibility that Brownie’s creative approach to facts was the very reason he was hired.

The liberals are always doing this. People neglected and dying in New Orleans? Blame Brownie. White House ignored August 2001 warning that Bin Laden planned attacks inside the U.S.? Blame National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, now Secretary of State. Bin Laden allowed to escape at Tora Bora? Blame Gen. Tommy Franks (retired), now the proud recipient of a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Iraq not a cake walk? Blame Paul Wolfowitz, now head of the World Bank. No WMDs in Iraq? Blame CIA director George Tenet (retired), another recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Civil order breaks down in Iraq after the defeat of the Iraqi army? Blame Paul Bremer, another retiree with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Long-time allies turn against us? Blame Colin Powell. Torture at Abu Ghraib? Blame Rummy, or maybe White House counsel Alberto Gonzales, now Attorney General and possible Supreme Court nominee.

I could go on and on. You’ll notice the liberals never go after President Bush himself. He is the very model of competence and caring. Can he help it that he’s surrounded by all these screw-ups?

President Bush doesn’t let himself get distracted by these petty matters. He’s a Big Picture president with his eyes on the prize. Why, I’ll bet he’s already planning out how he’ll make up those two missed vacation days.

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Fortune Cookie

A four-year-old post from a site for funny Macintosh news, As the Apple Turns: Look! Good fortune is around you.

Airy Persiflage
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The Sky Was Blue

Someday, some Hollywood genius will make a big movie — like Titanic, perhaps — set against the terrorist attacks that took place four years ago today. And, to set a properly ominous mood, the filmmaker will fill the sky with dark storm clouds and rumbles of thunder. Audiences and critics will rave about how the filmmakers brought a half-forgotten historical tragedy to life.

But if I’m there, I will remember. The sky was blue. A brilliant, cloudless blue, the same here as it was in New York and Washington, D.C.

When the FAA ordered a “full ground stop,” the mandatory grounding of all civilian planes, I went outside with some of my co-workers and watched planes approaching the airport here for their unscheduled landing. There would be no planes in the sky for several days to come.

After the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapsed, Hollywood frantically cut or altered shots of the New York skyline from movies approaching release. Even a fleeting sight of the towers, they reasoned, would stir emotions that would overwhelm the story in any film where they appeared.

Time dulls the ragged edge of grief, and distorts our memory. The twin towers become the Doomed Twin Towers. Like Pearl Harbor, Abe Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, the space shuttles Challenger and Columbia, and the Titanic itself, we wonder: was there really a time when no one knew what was going to happen? “September 11” has been turned into a political punchline. Was there really a time when it was just another date?

It’s good, I think, to feel some of the pain again. To remember what really happened. To know that it came out of the clear blue sky.

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It’s Time

Pretty strong stuff from Bill Maher:

Now, I kid. But seriously, Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you anymore. There’s no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can’t start another war, because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard is bare, the credit card’s maxed out, and no one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished! Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service, and the oil company, and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How ’bout cowboy or spaceman?

Now, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying that there’s so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in. Please don’t.

I know, I know — there’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church, and Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly, I’m surprised you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a sh*tty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky.

I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes — God does speak to you. And what He’s saying is, “Take a hint.”

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Whoopsi Gras

Cartoonist Mark Fiore has an animation called Whoopsi Gras, about the comedy of errors that, in the end, wasn’t funny at all.

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Exposed by the Storm

I thought it was bad when Michael Chertoff tried to shift blame to the disaster’s victims. Then Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania started talking about criminal penalties. (Later, Santorum tried to blame the National Weather Service. We can only hope he soon finds a reliable source for a better grade of crack than he’s been smoking recently.)

When Barbara Bush said things were “working very well” for poor evacuees, I joked that it was “like a great big camp-out.” House Republican Leader Tom DeLay compared the evacuation to camping out, too. He asked three boys at a temporary shelter, “Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?”

Clear Channel radio host Glenn Beck calls the hurricane survivors in New Orleans “scumbags,” and manages to get in a shot at the families of 9/11 victims, too.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert would like to bulldoze New Orleans. The Wall Street Journal reported that Rep. Richard Baker of Baton Rouge said, “We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn’t do it, but God did.” (Baker says he was misquoted.)

But some see a bright future for New Orleans. James Reiss, a wealthy resident and city official, was quoted in a Wall Street Journal story:

The new city must be something very different, Mr. Reiss says, with better services and fewer poor people. “Those who want to see this city rebuilt want to see it done in a completely different way: demographically, geographically and politically,” he says. “I’m not just speaking for myself here. The way we’ve been living is not going to happen again, or we’re out.”

Do you suppose that the way we’ll get “fewer poor people” is by lifting people out of poverty? No, I didn’t think so, either.

Katrina has certainly unmasked a lot of people.

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Accountability, At Last?

Years ago, I heard about a great reporter who had a sign above his desk. It said, “GOYAKOD.” When visitors asked what GOYAKOD meant, the reporter explained: “Get off your ass; knock on doors.” That’s what good reporters do.

In recent years, the American news media have seemed to embrace the rather esoteric philosophical notion that the truth is unknowable. So they sat at their anchor desks and let the spin-meisters of the two major political parties go at it on issue after issue, in an endless game of “he said, she said.” They never called a lie a lie, for fear of compromising their aura of know-nothing neutrality.

Then came Hurricane Katrina. Reporters went to the disaster zone, hoping only to capture some good visuals for the nightly news. But they saw with their own eyes that sometimes, at least, the truth is knowable. They sent shock waves through spin-numbed viewers when they challenged lies and platitudes.

The Bush White House must spin clockwise. In the northern hemisphere, a hurricane spins counter-clockwise, and Katrina has nullified the White House spin machine, for the moment. Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne on inescapable accountability:

The White House is aghast because it is pulling levers that once worked, and nothing is happening.

To borrow one of [Bill] O’Reilly’s favorite phrases, New Orleans was a “No Spin Zone.” Good, smart, tough and compassionate reporters gave Americans a direct view of the disaster and kept asking, with increasing urgency, why New Orleans was such a mess.

You can tell the White House knows how much trouble it is in — that’s no doubt why Bush had another news conference yesterday — by following the Frank Theorem. “It’s a rule in American politics,” said Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), “that whichever side denounces the other for politicizing the issue is losing the argument.” Bingo.

This crisis has been an exceptionally clear lesson in this White House’s overall approach: Try to get everyone to believe that any criticism of the president will blow back on the critics because Americans just don’t like that sort of thing. Attack “finger-pointing,” and make sure your allies madly point fingers at your opponents.

Say no one should play politics with a disaster — and then make sure Republican leaders in Congress set up a commission to investigate the relief effort without asking Democrats for their input on how the investigation should be carried out.

Bush’s critics aren’t backing off, because they’ve been here before. Former Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle, who cooperated with Bush in the days after Sept. 11 but lost his South Dakota seat after a long, White House-inspired campaign accusing him of being “obstructionist,” speaks from experience.

“Democrats to this day remain outraged at the blatant efforts that Republicans, especially in the administration, made to undermine the perception of our patriotism and our motivations,” Daschle said in an interview.

This time around, Democrats won’t be waved off by right-wing commentators or by contrived and insincere appeals to national unity. “I don’t think we should pay a whit of attention to administration criticisms,” Daschle said. “Democrats need to ask the hard questions and ignore the political attacks that are destined to come when we ask them.”

The sounds of contention you are hearing are the sounds of accountability in a free republic. The president may not like it, but it is a refreshing sound.