Black Heart

Doctors say Dick Cheney’s heart is healthy:

US Vice President Dick Cheney, who has a history of cardiac trouble, underwent a routine medical checkup on Saturday and his heart was declared in stable condition, his spokeswoman said.

And here I thought Cheney’s heart was black and hard as a lump of anthracite. I guess I should forget about medical school.

Cheney’s black heart — speaking figuratively, of course — is steadily pumping blood. For more than five years, it has pumped American blood into the sands of Iraq.

As vice-president, Cheney has helped pump billions of taxpayer dollars into the pockets of Halliburton and its subsidiaries.

Reporters, when you say this man has a clean bill of health, remember to put quotation marks around “clean.”